Can you imagine being at 35,000 ft, crammed into a little seat, and having to sit next to a hyper dog on a leash trying to lick you while you attempt to sleep?  It could happen.

Last week I had a business flight scheduled to Colorado.  Now I do not particularly like to fly, but I find myself doing it regularly and this was one of those times when driving was not going to work.  As always when booking flights I consider cost of flight, time of travel, and airport locations and this was no exception.  I booked an overpriced flight on Delta Airlines.  In typical Jeff fashion,  I arrived in plenty of time to rush down the concourse so I don’t miss the flight.  Since this was a Delta flight and not my prefered airlines (South West) I actually had an assigned seat.

As I worked my way to the back of the plane, people who book early and not last minute get the good seats, I see my window seat and the lady who had the aisle.  This plane was not large as there was only two seats on each side of the aisle.  As I approached my pre-assigned spot, I indicated to the lady I was going to need to get past her to find my two hour perch.  She ducked down and started to, what appeared to me, gather the belongings she had stashed in my spot.  She was taking rather long and it struck me odd why she put so much stuff in my assigned seat and why it was taking her so long when the completely full plane was still boarding.  To my surprise and amazement she popped up with a dog on a leash- A DOG!  Now the dog was not huge, but it was not exceptionally small either and it was not in a cage but on a leash. It looked like some kind of cocker spaniel.  Now if someone could have photographed the look on my face I know several friends and family members who would pay big bucks for that snapshot.  I was dumbfounded and did the only thing I could think of.  I continued down the aisle to the galley and find a flight attendant.

Now there was no way I was going to spend the next 2 1/2 hours sitting next to a hyper dog on a small and full cramped plane.  I told the flight attendant I was allergic to dogs and she was going to have to find me a new seat.  Now I am not allergic to dogs, but this seemed like the quickest approach to being reassigned.  But what about people who are?  The poor kid who breaks into anaphylactic shock at 35,000 feet two flights later because Delta allows dogs to roam around the seats and he is highly allergic to dogs.  Do we now have to pay additional cost to get on a pet free plane?  Who cleans up the mess in aisle 6B when Fido drops a log?  Maybe this companion dog status has gone a bit far.  I have a friend who spent 15 min on the internet and got his dog registered as a companion pet.  Oh, look at the cute dog lick the table in my favorite restaurant.  Sorry folks but dogs are animals who lick there but and sometimes eat their poo!

I currently own no dogs but I have in the past.  The dogs I have owned were loved and well cared for but they were outside dogs like the other animals I have owned.  Dogs are animals and animals live outside.  I do know that many people sleep with their dogs and many of these people are good friends of mine.  I find it so odd that people would choose to sleep in a dog bed.  I would rather sleep with my significant other.  You go to their house to visit and you have this animal trying to jump on you and maybe even try to hump you and then continue to lick you uncontrollably.  One of my friends works out of the house of her bosses several times a week.  She is there trying to get work done with two large dogs licking her and trying to smell the private parts of her body.  The owner is oblivious to the offensiveness of her dogs and it makes my friend rather uncomfortable.  Talk about sexual harassment in the work place!

Why must people be compelled to bring their dogs with them everywhere.  Since I live on acreage, people seem to want to bring their dog to my house when they visit.  Oh, he has such a nice place for spot to run around.  One Thanksgiving a relative showed up with a puppy and was rather offended when I would not let it run around the house with the other 25 guests.  Well it ended up in the garage where it pooped, pissed, and chewed on anything it could find.  I have even had relationships suffer at the hands of a dog.  I jumped in a neighbors truck the other day to move it and the smell of dog was overwhelming I had to roll down the window to keep from gagging

I do belive people have the right to live their life as they see fit.  If they want to let their pet eat, sleep, and drink as people, it is their right to do so.  If I don’t like it, I have the choice not to visit.  If they want to let their cats lounge around the kitchen counters where they prepare their food, I have the right to not stay for dinner.  But I think I should have the right to get on an airplane with the expectation of not being licked and smelled while being strapped into a confined space or sitting in a seat where a dog spent the day hours before.

People- Keep your dogs at home!

The World According to Jeff!